Saturday, December 11, 2010

Forgiveness is just hard sometimes...

I just wanted to SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAM..., It can be so frustrating how hard it can be to forgive, especially our loved ones. In this case today my two sons...It was just one of those really bad days, scratch that a bad week with them all week led up to this explosion on an important weekend. How unloved my sons can make me feel is just so mind blowing. They where disrespectful, disobedient and a distraction. At one point so blatant defiant I had to leave church and take them to sit with dad at his job. I was so stressed out I thought I was going to puke ( to do at 9 months pregnant..not fun..)...The minute I left them with thier dad this relief just came over me. I took the girls to dinner and back to church in time for service to start.

So now what,I am struggling with forgiving them for their behavior this week and especially today, I feel hurt and dishonored, the anger I feel inside and the flesh feels they don't deserve it my forgiveness. They don't, none of us really deserve forgiveness..but God forgave us when we least deserved it. He sent His son to die so that we could be forgiven and reconciled back to Him. All of this He did and we did not deserve it.

So now I have to put my feelings aside, and forgive them whether I feel like I want to or not, because Jesus would want me to. I forgive because I love God and want to be obedient and pleasing to Him.

I will forgive them because I love them..
I will forgive them because I am forgiven..
I will forgive them because the enemy wants me to stay angry and cause further strife..
I will forgive them because I want to increase my character and model forgiveness for my children..

....This morning a sister in Christ told me, just speak out loud and tell satan you cant play with him anymore..She is right..So satan I'm not playing anymore, I am returning to my Fathers arms for comfort and forgiveness and restoring peace back into this household! AMEN!!

Proverbs 14:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

I want to be the wise woman that builds her house..

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